Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
