Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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