To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
