we have officially lost it.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
