and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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