at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
