Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
