I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
