I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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