Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't deserve a penis
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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