office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
