i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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