I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
