Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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