You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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