So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
