It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
