shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
