my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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