We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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