Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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