i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
