At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
