i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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