You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
