I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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