i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
