paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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