thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
