I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
