you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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