He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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