I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
