Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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