a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
