I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
