hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
