But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Randomize
