You're completely useless in the revolution.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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