ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
