It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just had sex on a roof
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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