my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
