Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
