Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I cockslap morals
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
