and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She's the barista slut.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
