I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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