glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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