Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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