well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
