Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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