More tranny stories later!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
