everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
