just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
