You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
