We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
