We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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